Andy Best: December 2009 Archives
I'm sick of these old geezers telling me what music is, that today's music sucks, and that the mid-70s to mid-80s were when music was real. Especially when they probably haven't seen a live show in 20 years. Especially when they haven't listened fully to a recent song in the last 5, probably ... So don't lecture me about music anymore, please, or I will impale you with Neil Peart's drumstick. Thanks. Now let's get to the picks. Of MODERN music.Of course, my blog gives me a pass clearly, but I felt a pang when I read this. I do keep up with music back home, despite having being away for the better part of ten years but mainly certain genres. I have to admit to having an impulsive distaste for the late nineties and noughties music phenomenon - the modern rock or modern indie band.
Dirk, do you want to work at Moose Hoof Coffee for ever? I don't. Do you want to be a big loser, or, do you want to be rich. Like that guy from Maroon 5.
Ok, that's what I thought. Go and fetch me the ritual brother.
(takes out clean looking sheet of paper)
Yeah, I found it online. We come here tonight to sacrifice the body of ... what was your name again, Tiffany?
(sobbing) My name is Jennifer.
Super. We come here tonight to sacrifice the body of Jennifer from Devil's Kettle.
(sobbing, begging) Please don't do this, I'll do anything, I'll do anything.
(takes breath, pauses) Do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days? There's so many of us and we're all so cute and it's like if you don't get on Letterman or some retarded soundtrack you're screwed. Satan is our only hope. We're in league with the beast now and we have to make a really big impression on him. To do that we're going to have to butcher you. And bleed you, and then Dirk here is going to wear your face. (Turns to Dirk) Relax, I'm kidding about the face. The rest is going to happen though.
Dude, that is a hot murder weapon ....
It's a bowie knife.
Bowie! ... nice.
So we recently had some year end articles and lists, but after that comes the predictions for the New Year. Oh, it never ends.
So, when you pick up That's Shanghai at the end of the month, the January issue will include a special music scene preview featuring 2010 predictions from me, Super Sophia (Yuyintang) and Alec Haavic (Jazz scene). Surprisingly, I saw that some Expo talk was kept in. Except that certain people's views on it, like their music, seem to be confined to an elevator-like space. Zing!
Ok, so there was a photo shoot too. Freud says that some narcissism is healthy. Honest.
Happy Mother's Day, I Can't Read
The Asbestos Tampons
With a RMB1m prize purse (including cash, equipment, a national concert tour and recording time in LA), and "up to 5,000 concert auditions", Pepsi have made a commitment to the "real" Chinese underground music scene by announcing a new reality TV program to air over 7 months on the Zhejiang satellite network.This was April 3rd 2009. I commented at Shanghaiist on the post and chose not to blog it directly.Why, I thought, would local rock and underground bands be interested in a talent show put on by a company that markets junk food to kids. CMR's post date of April 1st seemed more relevant to me.
Apart from the in your face branding that made us dizzy, we were also shocked by their serious lack of taste. In the back were a few skinny models in hot pants and a halter-tops also adorned with said logo stretched tight against none existent boobs selling the soda at the bar. Even the people working there had to have said logo painted on their face.
Having never done a battle of the bands before, said soda company had forgotten that unlike other talent contests, bands don't usually come with a back-up tape in hand so had allocated no time for stage changes. In between the bands, the MC (namely me) was suppose to interview the lead singer. This was a bit ridiculous as the lead singer was usually down on the floor plugging in equipment. When I expressed this to the sponsor, the responded by saying "well just tell them to hurry up."
Still with one minute allocated for stage changes, even the speediest of musicians could not get their equipment plugged in on-time. The head of said Soda company came charging backstage screaming at the staff saying things like "tell these kids if they don't get their equipment plugged in less then three minutes they will have points deducted from their total score."
But was this short lived anger or would it live on and turn into a new level of awareness around brands and branding. Well, it certainly was angry and one kickback was the minor scandal that followed involving the band Pinkberry.